You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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