The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
