Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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