You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
