i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
