Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
