Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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