my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
