ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
my liver is dry heaving
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