Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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