That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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