i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
