We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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