I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize