i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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