If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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