She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
