Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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