No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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