He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
