Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
