I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
