hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
