I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
