Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
