lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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