What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
