i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
