Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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