There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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