Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The feeling are messing with the penis
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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