I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
