Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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