I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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