Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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