Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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