Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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