Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
