My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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