She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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