anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
