Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
