We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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