My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
