Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
is this the sara with the beer cane?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just want to make out with him forever
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
