Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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