I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He did a backflip because drugs
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
