At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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