it's not cheating when I paid for it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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