yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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