i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
