found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
