Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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