She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
