do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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