Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
