Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You have to summon your inner elephant
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
