So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
