we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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