Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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