what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
